Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Skills

Back in my single days (I love the slightly condescending tone that introduction conveys, especially since my entire life minus the past 7.67 months has consisted of "single days"), I was determined to develop a retinue of impressive skills that would knock the socks off of any potentially marriageable partner. The list was rather lengthy and included entries that were practical (be proficient at cooking more things than brownies and quesadillas), common (learn to knit), and (yes, I admit it) ridiculous (practice different techniques while brushing teeth in front of a mirror to minimize looking like a choking, spitting, rabid woman). (In case you're wondering, I think I accomplished the first two rather admirably; alas, I've given up on the third as a lost cause.)

Really, though, the one thing I most wanted to develop (on my "practical" list, though others might allocate it elsewhere) was prodigious parallel parking skill. I thought nothing could be more impressive than a woman who could zip right into a cramped spot without her date having to back her up or (worse) trade her places and park the car himself. To accomplish this goal, I avoided buying parking passes where possible at BYU and did most of my parking on the streets. I gave myself double points for parallel parking in snow; triple points if I had to park on uneven piles of hardened snow and ice (gas it...a little more gas...burst of speed--SLAM ON THE BRAKES as you clear that ice mound so you don't hit the car behind you). Yes, I was pretty hard core. And, if I do say so myself, I got pretty good at it. Especially considering that during my first year of attempts I had to pull in and out of a parallel spot at least ten times before I got in at the right angle.

So why am I writing about this? In the year I've lived in Texas, I haven't had much opportunity to park along curbs (which I really am grateful for), and I'm sad to say my parallel parking skills are not what they used to be. Who can tell whether that's from lack of practice or simply because now that I've landed my man (who was floored by my skills, by the way) I don't really need them anymore? At any rate, today at school I executed a perfect parallel parking job in a relatively tight space (maybe two feet of wiggle room? It's tighter than it sounds!) in a matter of ten seconds or less. I was so pumped. I even took pictures of it with my phone.

If my parents ever read this, particularly my dad, they will not be impressed (though Mom will be charitably happy for me, as is her style), for they are parallel parking demons. I kid you not. I think it's a result of living in San Francisco for four years where congestion was awful and parking was worse--so give 'em two centimeters of "wiggle room" and they were in that spot. On hills that were 91 degrees steep. In a manual car. Demons.

In conclusion, for those of you looking for something impressive to add to your resume to help you attract that special someone, give parallel parking a try.

10 comments:

  1. Parallel parking is a skill I lack in all ways, shapes, and forms, and I admit to being the kind of person who avoids it at all costs. I can only blame it on the weather half of the year, but you described parking on uneven piles of snow and ice incredibly accurately, and just the thought of it makes me nervous. Perhaps 2009 is the time for me to conquer this fear. Perhaps. But no promises. I admire your determination and mastering of such a skill though!

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  2. Lindsay, I've met you briefly at our reception, and then I went to yours but I didn't really get to know you except for when you sang to your missionary sister that I recall. I do admit, that I don't know you that well but after being edified and uplifted by your words and thoughts, I can absolutely affirm that you two are perfect for each other! Thanks for keeping us updated, and now I feel inspired to be part of the blog society. Peace out to you and Jay-

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  3. You are hilarious! I actually remember you being quite good at parallel parking when we were roomies. I also have memories of you brushing your teeth...that's all I will say. Just joking!!! I love that you have a blog now. I am excited to hear more about your life there in TX.

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  5. I'll have to remember this whole 'skills' concept... And 8.67? You actually counted?! Please know I mean this in the most loving way possible: Linds, you are a nerd. You always have been, and likely always will be. Never fear, we all love you this way, I just thought you should know:-). I loved the story, by the way, I was definitely shrieking with laughter (I was scaring the poodle). I love you! (Sorry about the blank comment, I deleted it on accident. Lose-it Lisa strikes again, eh?)

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  6. Parallel parking. I can never ever do that. I try but sometime I just..fail. Yay for you and your 2nd post! its so fun to read your words. Esp the rabid woman part. Lol!

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  7. this is great stuff. so funny!

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  8. You're so funny! You've got to learn to PP in Minneapolis, it's on the driver's test! I am okay at it, and have traded spots for people to help them out. But then again, my driving skills aren't that good. Case in point: accident.

    Love you dear!

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  9. I'm afraid this demon is a little rusty--but, hey, what you said about SF is true! Give me three feet of curb, and I could put a car in it.... And, 8.67 months?? I love the perfectionistic accuracy, although you could have carried the repeated "6" out a few decimal places before rounding it up to a "7." Or you could have simply said 8 2/3 which, of course, is an exact value and not a decimal approximation at all!

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  10. Actually, Mother, you underestimated my "perfectionistic accuracy"--I wasn't going for two-thirds, I was going for 21/31 (date of post/anniversary). So actually, it came out to 7.677419354. You may be thinking that I should have rounded the final 7 to an 8, but I dislike rounding because, at that point, I had not been married for 7.68 months. The .03 month discrepancy would have kept me up at night.

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