I love to sing with people who can sing. We actually pulled off O Magnum Mysterium a cappella. It has long been a dream of mine to sing that piece: the translation of the Latin text is beautiful, and the swirling harmonies are ethereal.
I've always had a love/hate relationship with singing. I have tried several times to cut it out of my life because it has been such a frustrating and emotional thing for me, but I keep coming back to it. For better or for worse, I can't live without it. And even though there are still some times that I struggle because my voice feels trapped inside me, strangled by my own psychological need to pathologically control things, there are also times that I can partially transcend myself, forget myself, and give myself to the gloriousness of inspired song.
I still have hope that I'll one day break through my self-erected barriers of tension and doubt, but until then I will sing anyway. I'll share whatever talent I have anyway. And sometimes I'll still probably cry in frustration, but I will also fully live those moments where music lifts me beyond myself, where it's not just my voice that's singing--it's all of me.
As my beautiful roommate Rachel often said, quoting Spencer W. Kimball, "Let us not die with our music still in us."
I don't intend to.