Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Why I Won't Buy Jay an iPhone

Here, in order, are the various ways that Jay's previous cell phones have met an untimely end:
  1. Jay rolling down a hill (it was a singles' ward activity--need I say more?) + generously proportioned girl rolling over him = broken phone
  2. Dropped phone from a second floor balcony
  3. Wrecked bike + phone in pocket = broken phone (and roadrash)
  4. Ran phone through the washing machine
  5. Diving for a frisbee + phone in pocket = phone snapped in half
  6. Stolen
Number six happened today.  Along with the phone, the thief took Jay's wallet and my GPS.  Besides feeling incredibly violated (they went on a shopping spree at HEB with our credit card!  This creep-o, thanks to Jay's driver's license and my GPS, knows where we live!), I'm also feeling incredibly grateful:
  1. Jay's car wasn't damaged or broken or stolen (he accidentally left it unlocked)
  2. Jay's social security card wasn't in his wallet
  3. None of our checkbooks were in the car
  4. Though purchases were made on the credit cards, they were minimal (around $500).  While I know (and am thankful) we wouldn't be liable for those purchases, I'm glad our banks aren't losing a lot of money because of us
  5. Jay had the smarts to cancel the cards immediately--within an hour of everything being stolen
  6. There was no cash in our car or in Jay's wallet
I miss my GPS already, and it will be a pain to replace Jay's card "collection" (library card, driver's license, costco card, etc.), but it could have been a lot worse.  

On a more light-hearted note, here is a poem Jay wrote a couple years ago as a tribute to his former phones.


  1. What you fail to realize is that if you had invested the money in an iphone originally, not only would we have found the dirty rotten theif, but also we would have my phone back.
    Good thing the iPhone is now available on Verizon...

  2. P.S. Now I'll have to write a new poem...

  3. speaking of investments....

    "Guess How Much Money You Would Have Made Buying Apple Stock Instead Of Products? (AAPL)


    "To be more specific, if you had purchased every single Apple product released since November 1997 -- right after Steve Jobs rejoined the company -- you would have spent $591,769. Now you'd have several basements full of mostly obsolete Apple gear.

    "But if you had taken all that money and invested it in Apple stock on the day that each product came out, you'd now have $11,120,691."

  4. sad day! He also left his phone under our chair cushion that one time, but that doesn't exactly count :)

  5. Jeremy, unfortunately we have not invested in either Apple stock OR Apple products... So not only are we not rich, we're also woefully uncool.

  6. ugh! that is so frustrating. I hate when things like this happen!