Thursday, January 12, 2012

13 Minutes

I have 13 minutes left in my lunch break, and I decided that I am going to write a blog post even though I'm OCD and ADHD and perfectionistic and still finishing my lunch of left over pot-stickers.  I have missed writing--it is something I do for me, but I also agonize over it.  You could say writing and I have a love-hate relationship.  


I'm finally coming to realize I'm going to have a baby.  The end of denial is a scary thing.  It's even worse when it happens in a public place: I stood next to Jay in a store to register for "things I want," scanner in hand, looking at rows upon rows of bottles, sippy cups, pacifiers, and bouncers, and my calm, I-can-do-this facade came crashing down.  How on earth could I raise a baby when I have no idea what bottles to buy or how many or what the heck a nursing pad is?  I think I numbly scanned a bunch of plain white onesie packs, a couple of pacifiers, and then stood there staring blankly at pack and plays for at least 10 minutes.  I laughed (but cried a little inside) at the irony of a registry--I decided that anyone kind enough to buy me a gift probably has a much better idea of what I need than I do.  


I have less than two months left, and I'm trying to cram in all the things I should have done months ago that I didn't feel urgency about because of blissful denial.  We're touring the hospital tonight, and I'm resolving to read a couple birth/baby books before the month is over.  One way or another, though, it's going to happen.  I won't be perfect and won't know what's going on (my control freak-iness is really pinging over that one), but it's going to be okay.  


I'm so excited to be a mom.  

8 comments:

  1. I'm so excited for both of you! It's so fun not really knowing what to expect, but I have no doubt that you guys will do a great job!!

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  2. And I get to visit and offer a HUGE distraction :)

    We are never ready for anything. I feel everyday is kind of a joke: who is this person who lives on her own and takes photos for a magazine? Surely I am not an adult. I feel often that I don't know what I'm doing and I'm such a novice.

    You will be an incredible mother.

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  3. You are amazing! You are going to be the best mother ever! Just ask your little one when she is about 5 (don't do it again until she has a newborn ;-).
    My suggestions: Dr. Browns bottles, Lansinoh Nursing pads (they are expensive, but the cheap ones are horrible . . . Don't give into the temptation . . . pay the extra $3/mo), and lots of clothes and blankets. Everything else will fall into place :)

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  4. I have one of those freak out moments every pregnancy when it just hits me that soon I will be responsible for another human being. But then luckily the excitment eventually takes over those feelings. You guys will both be great, can't wait to see what your little baby will look like. :)

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  5. I had a full on panic attack in Baby's R Us when I was pregnant with Logan (my first baby)! "Who needs all this stuff?! Why do I need all this stuff?! How can I afford all this stuff?! What the heck am I supposed to do with a baby!?!?!?" I even made Casey buy me a book that was titled something like 'How to Play with Your Baby'. Haha! Once she came along...I never opened that book. When she is here you'll instinctively know what you need and what you don't have...you'll never know you were missing it. You'll figure it out bit by bit as she grows up and you'll be awesome!

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  6. I completely agree with Kiyomi, Lansinoh pads are a must. They will make your life so much easier. I just love giving advice. Too bad I'm not there to unload it all on you;-) You guys are going to be such great parents!

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  7. I am so glad I'm not the only one! Charly, that was seriously me the other night. Nicole, feel free to dispense any and all advice! My phone number hasn't changed :).

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  8. I remember when the reality hit for me... it was after we took her home! For my friend, it was when she held 2 onsies up to her tummy - then she realized... I'm really having twins. It's different for everyone, but at the same time the same reaction - a lot of anxiety and a little bit of panic. You are going to be a great mother! Congrats again Lindsay!

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