Thursday, February 9, 2012

And I Quote...


{Photo by Katie}


It is amazing the things that people will say to a pregnant woman.  Seriously.  I thought I had no "filter" due to pregnancy, but turns out it affects everyone else around me just as much (if not more). 

Here is a very small sampling:
  • "How many are you carrying in there?"  One.  "...Really?"
  • "Wow--you get bigger every day!  No, seriously, every day I can tell a difference!"
  • "Are you sure you're not having twins?"  Pretty sure.
  • "My [sister/cousin/friend] is due [two days/two months] before you, and you can't even tell she's pregnant.  You are SO much bigger than she is!" (How does one respond to that?)
  • "Can you even get any bigger before you just explode?"
  • "How much weight have you put on so far?" Forty pounds.  "Well, I only put on 20 lbs and lost it all 3 weeks later."
  • "I know you said you're not having twins, but I don't believe it.  There have got to be at least two in there--you're huge!"
  • "When are you due again?" End of February.  "...are you sure it's not sooner?  You are definitely coming early."
  • My own mother sheepishly admitted the other day that she only gained 5 lbs when she was expecting me and that she left the hospital 15 lbs lighter than her pre-pregnancy weight.  Not cool, Mom--just lie next time!
  • (Tangent alert) I don't like it when people ask about my birthing choices and then say, "Well, I considered going 'natural,' but I'm a wuss so I decided on an epidural."  Getting an epidural does not mean you're a wuss!  There's nothing wrong with wanting medication, and there's nothing magical or inherently "better" about an unmedicated birth--it's a completely personal decision based on what you feel is right for you, and there are pros and cons to each.  I have several friends who have opted for unmedicated births, and I've fully supported them.  I believe they fully support me for wanting an epidural.  I don't think any woman should feel ashamed of their birth decisions.
  • And I never want to hear the words "huge" or "waddle" ever again--they're not flattering in any context.

But there are some nice things, too:
  • "You look great pregnant--when I was pregnant I looked like a monster."
  • I have heard horror stories about pregnant women being molested by complete strangers; maybe it's just the aura I give off, but generally the only people who rub my tummy are people I already know.  It's still a bit weird, but in a mostly nice way.
  • "When you turn around, I can't even tell you're pregnant!  You are all belly." (which is an outright lie--just ask my love handles--but it's nice all the same)
  • Women, especially mothers, are so excited for me and free with advice.  I constantly feel like I'm being enthusiastically welcomed into some exclusive club.
  • "You don't have pregnancy nose!  And you still have ankles!" 
  • This old man I've never met came up to me at church and said, "So are you ten months or eleven months along?"  And then he chortled like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard and gave me an awkward hug.
  • "Are you sure you're having a girl?" Pretty sure.  "Because they say that boys give their mother beauty and girls take it away, but you look radiant."
Feel free to share your own pregnancy misadventures...

9 comments:

  1. bah hah hah..omgoodness. I cant believe people said some of those things to you! Thats terrible! I would never ever....maybe just think some of them but say them out loud? oh no. Lol at "pregnancy nose" , really? I've never heard of such a thing! And sorry , I have no pregnancy misadventures to contribute. maybe someday. PS I think you look great. PPS baby coming so soon! Let me know if I can send her some argyle ;-)

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  2. ok so i laughed out loud at the man at church :) I remember some of those same comments from when I was pregnant. Not nice but get ready because once you actually have the baby strangers in stores will offer advice about anything they can possibly think of. And be prepared for the person who thinks you have a boy even though she is wearing pink and wrapped in a pink blanket...And you are joining a special club :) I am so happy and excited for you and Jay!

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  3. I always hated it when people touched my belly without my permission. Sometimes TOTAL STRANGERS did this! Just because I am pregnant does not give you the right to violate my personal space.

    I liked to tell pregnant women that they look healthy. I always liked it when people told me I look healthy when I was pregnant, and it's a compliment that can be taken at face value.

    When I had just a few weeks to go, my father-in-law, who already had four male grandchildren and zero female grandchildren, told me he hoped I was having a boy. I found this quite irritating. I wanted to scream, "And just what is wrong with baby girls, may I ask? It's not like I can choose the gender of my children, and even if I could, I wouldn't do it just to please YOU."

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  4. I never got the whole "touch the belly" thing. I don't think I ever touched my own mother's pregnant belly unbidden. I'm not looking forward to that at all...

    And as for looks... well... you look pregnant! As you should. And it's a beautiful look. If it's any consolation, someone once asked my mother, while she was holding her newborn, if she "had another one in there." Like some weird twin scenario in which one wasn't quite ready to come out. Seriously?!? Ouch. People are crazy. Pregnancy draws out the craziest of the crazies, perhaps?

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  5. I try not to say much to people, for fear of offending them by pure ignorant accident on my part. I just ask people questions, "how are you feeling?" etc... Playing it safe is always a good idea. You look beautiful.

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  6. I must agree that the belly thing is weird. I've only had one person that I really don't know all that much touch my belly. It was......very awkward. But I agree with you that, even though it's still a little strange that someone would want to touch your belly, it's not as bad when you are close to them or know them enough that you are semi comfortable with it. :)

    The thing I get a lot is, "Make sure you eat more for the baby!" Any time I eat in a group setting (aka work) if there is any leftover food they will try and shove it down my throat because they think I need to be eating more for the baby. I guess my response is usually, "Baby doesn't want it, but thanks."

    And the only other thing I can think of is, of those who have felt my belly, they always say how tight I am. I'm pretty sure my little guy purposefully pushes his body against my belly.

    It was really fun to read what people had to say to you. I almost wish I had those experiences so I would have stories to tell. Haha.

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  7. These are so funny. I was totally expecting to have lost at least 10 pounds by the time I got home from the hospital. Unfortunately I weighed MORE the day I came home from the hospital than I did 3 days before, one week overdue. I figured my nearly 9lb baby, the placenta, and the fluids would account for at least 10 pounds lost!! I don't know how that works out, but don't be too frightened by it!!

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  8. I know I'm like way behind since you've already had Kathryn, but I just wanted to say I also gained 40 lbs. That's what us skinny gals need to grow a big, healthy baby! I don't know what it is about being pregnant, but people lose all sensitivity in what they say to you. (As if you're not sensitive enough! haha)

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  9. It is crazy and so funny to hear what people say! Seriously you looked great! I am so jealous of your arms even pregnant and I am sure you were pleasantly surprised by what you lost after the birth!

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