Jay: Look, Jayne has lice.
Lindsay, picking a piece of dirt off of Jayne's head: Have you ever even had lice before?
Jay: No, I'm not a dirty heathen.
Lindsay: Just what are you trying to say? I had lice at least three times.
Jay: Gross. How is that even possible?
Lindsay: I wore another girl's sweater once. Not sure about the other times. Have you ever had scabies?
Jay: No. But I have had giardia and a tapeworm and athlete's foot and ringworm.
Lindsay: You have NOT had a tapeworm.
Jay: Well, they found tapeworm feces, so I assume that means I had a tapeworm.
Lindsay, revolted: Eeeew.
Jay, musing: Actually, it was tapeworm larvae in MY feces.
Lindsay, putting down fork: We have GOT to start filtering our dinner conversation topics.