"Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something." - The Princess Bride
A few weeks ago, we went to a furniture store to look at couches. Our sales lady was nice and clearly wanted to close a deal, but we weren't in buying mode. Jay took the girls out to the car while I waited for a printout.
"Your girls are so cute," she said as we stood there.
"Thanks," I smiled.
Then, as she handed me the paper and I moved to walk away, she said, "Your face structure is so beautiful. Have you done print work?"
I usually try to be gracious when someone offers me a compliment, but I was so caught off guard I let out a noise that was somewhere between a snort and a guffaw.
"Thanks," I said, waving the paper at her and leaving.
I laughed to Jay later that if she'd really wanted to flatter me in an over the top attempt to win my business, she should have asked if my children were models, because heaven knows I can't imagine anything cuter than their little mugs plastered on cereal boxes.
Needless to say, we didn't feel compelled to return and buy that particular couch.
A couple years ago, I was shopping at Kohl's when a woman approached me.
"I just had to come over and tell you how beautiful you are. Do you mind if I asked what skin care regimen you use?"
"Um, Dove soap and Curelle lotion?" I said.
She gushed at me for a few more minutes before handing me her Mary Kay business card and a coupon for free product.
...which I did not redeem.
Today the doorbell rang, and since it's that time of year when packages arrive in a steady flow, I answered it.
Salesman: Hi, there; is one of your parents home?
Me, startled: ...No.
Salesman: Do you mind if I leave a couple pamphlets?
Me: That would be fine.
Salesman, riffling through pamplets, looks up: ...I didn't make a mistake, did I? Are you the homeowner?
Me: I am.
Salesman, flustered, mutters: I do that sometimes. I've made the mistake both ways. You look very young.
He quickly gave me a description of his services, handed me the pamphlet, and practically ran off my stoop.
I almost felt bad for him, especially since most of the homeowners on my street really are about my parents' age, but I was so pleased to not be stuck talking to another salesman for a fruitless ten minutes that I was glad for his blunder.
It's probably the only time I've believed anything a salesperson told me.