One year ago today, my church's new policy regarding LGBT families was leaked. In essence, it says that same sex couples who marry are apostates and must be subjected to a church disciplinary hearing. It further states that the children of homosexual parent[s] in a same-sex relationship (or even who were previously in a same-sex relationship) cannot be baptized, cannot be ordained to the priesthood (just boys, obvs--girls aren't ordained), until they are 18 and "specifically disavow the practice of same-gender cohabitation and marriage." These children are also not permitted to receive a name and a baby blessing (the Mormon equivalent of a Christening).
I cringed even just typing that out; it's so embarrassingly draconian. I remember the night of November 5th a year ago: an article about the leaked policy popped up on Facebook and I read it to Jay as we drove to Costco. I was shocked, disbelieving. In the weeks and months since, I spent hours upon hours reading articles, listening to podcasts, and trying to understand. While I feel I've been able to grasp the apologetics and reasons behind this policy, the fact remains that the gut-punch sensation I felt when I first read it has never gone away.
I'm not looking to have a discussion about the ins and outs of the policy. I don't feel qualified to say too much about its effects because it hasn't affected me directly. But I will say that I think it is deeply harmful, needlessly inflexible, and fundamentally unchristian, and I do not condone, agree with, or support it.
As I've looked into some of the sketchy parts of church history, I have viewed controversial (and now repudiated) quotes and practices through the lens that these early church leaders were products of their time. Indeed, the church itself acknowledges this in regards to the former priesthood/temple ban for black members, among other things. Looking at our current leaders through the same lens, however--that they are men influenced by their culture and preconceived notions about the world--seems to be discouraged. Yes, I believe in revelation. I even believe in a living prophet. But I don't believe in infallibility. I think the church can (and does) make mistakes. I believe this policy is one of them.
In the past, I turned my moral authority over to the leaders of my church: "If the prophet/apostles say it, it must be right." If I did question, I did it under the assumption that I was the one in the wrong. It was easy, in a way, to let the church decide things for me: what God wanted me to do, what my stance was on select political issues, what is right and what is wrong. And while I do still align with the church on many issues, I don't take it for granted anymore that they're always right, especially if it doesn't feel right to me.
I've reclaimed my moral authority, and I am at peace.